Working with your child's school — a step-by-step guide

When your child is being bullied at school, the school is your most important ally — but the relationship can be fraught. This guide walks you through the UK system step by step, from first contact to formal escalation, with a template letter you can adapt.

Your legal rights

UK schools have a legal duty to prevent and respond to bullying. The key pieces of legislation are:

Education Act 2002 (Section 175) — schools must safeguard and promote children’s welfare
Equality Act 2010 — schools must not discriminate against children with protected characteristics (race, faith, sexuality, gender, disability, etc.). Identity-based bullying is a legal issue, not just a pastoral one.
Education and Inspections Act 2006 — schools must have a behaviour policy that includes measures to prevent bullying

Every school must have an anti-bullying policy, and you can request a copy. Ofsted also inspects how well schools handle bullying — so schools have a strong incentive to take it seriously.

Before you contact the school

Spend an hour preparing. This will make the conversation much more effective:

Document everything. Write down dates, times, what happened, who was involved, and who witnessed it. Screenshot any online evidence. Include the impact on your child (sleep, mood, school avoidance).
Read the school’s anti-bullying policy. It should be on their website. This tells you what they’ve committed to doing — and lets you hold them to it.
Ask your child what they want to happen. Involving them protects their sense of agency. They might not want you to name the other child, or they might want to stay in certain classes. Take their wishes seriously.
Decide what outcome you want. Do you want the bullying to stop? Do you want your child moved classes? Do you want the other child disciplined? Do you want a restorative conversation? Knowing your goal helps you ask clearly.

Step 1: Contact the form tutor

Your first port of call is your child’s form tutor or class teacher. Email is best — it creates a written record. Keep it factual, calm, and specific. Ask for a meeting. Here’s a template you can adapt:

Key takeaway

Dear [name],

I’m writing because [child’s name] has told me that they’ve been experiencing bullying at school over the past [time period]. The incidents have included [brief, factual description — e.g. ‘name-calling in the corridor, exclusion from the friendship group at lunchtime, and messages on Instagram’].

This is having a significant impact on [child’s name] — [e.g. ‘they’ve been reluctant to come to school, their sleep has been affected, and they’ve become withdrawn’].

I’d like to meet with you to discuss how we can work together to make this stop. I’m available on [days/times]. Please could you let me know when would work?

Thank you for your support.

[Your name]
[Your phone number]

Keep a copy of every email you send and receive. After every meeting, send a follow-up email summarising what was agreed. This creates a paper trail if you need to escalate.

Step 2: Escalate to Head of Year

If the form tutor doesn’t resolve it within 2 weeks, or if the bullying continues, escalate to the Head of Year. Email them directly, cc’ing the form tutor, and reference your previous correspondence. Be specific about what has and hasn’t happened since your first contact.

Step 3: Headteacher

If the Head of Year doesn’t resolve it, write to the headteacher. At this point, you’re formally escalating — make it clear you’ve followed the school’s own process and it hasn’t worked. Request a meeting and a written response within a specific timeframe (10 working days is reasonable).

Step 4: Governing body

If the headteacher doesn’t resolve it, you can make a formal complaint to the school’s governing body. The school’s complaints policy (on their website) will explain how. This is a formal process — the governors must investigate and respond.

Step 5: Local authority

If the governors don’t resolve it, contact your local authority’s education department. They can’t force the school to do something, but they can review how the school has handled your complaint. If the bullying involves a protected characteristic under the Equality Act, you may also have grounds for a discrimination claim.

When to involve the police

Some bullying is criminal. Contact the police (101 non-emergency, 999 emergency) if:

There’s physical assault or threats of violence
Intimate images have been shared without consent (illegal under UK law)
It’s a hate crime — targeting race, faith, sexuality, gender identity, or disability
There are threats to share information to humiliate your child

If your child is too distressed to attend school

If your child is school-avoidant due to bullying, talk to the school about a phased return, a buddy system, or a temporary change of form group. If the school can’t keep your child safe, you may need to consider a managed move to another school — this is a serious step and should be discussed with the local authority. In extreme cases, families have successfully argued that a school’s failure to address bullying amounts to a failure of their safeguarding duty, which can support an appeal for a place at a different school.

Key takeaway

You are your child’s strongest advocate. The school system can feel intimidating, but you have rights — and your child has the right to learn in safety.